Do you have a kid? Are you full of concerns about how to raise him? The world is full of corruption and you are afraid of that? Here are some guidelines that Islam presents through Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him).
1- Choice of Name:
Choose a name with a good meaning for your child. As, his character will be affected by his name.
Sa’id b. Musayyab (one of Prophet Muhammad’s companions) told that his father said on the authority of his grandfather (Hazn), “The Prophet (ﷺ) asked: What is your name? He replied: Hazn (rugged). He (ﷺ) said: You are Sahl (smooth). Hazn said: No, smooth is trodden upon and disgraced. Sa’id said: I then thought that ruggedness would remain among us after it.” [Sahih (Al Albani)]
Also, the Messenger changed the bad names to a better ones.
The Messenger (ﷺ) changed “changed the name Harb (war) and called him Silm (peace). He changed the name al-Munba’ith (one who lies) and called him al-Mudtaji’ (one who stands up). He changed the name of a land Afrah (barren) and called it Khadrah (green),” [Sahih (Al Albani)]
2- Compassion & Inclusion:
In this materialistic and busy life, you may forget to give your kid a kiss and a hug. However, this is more important for them than the money you earn.
The Prophet (ﷺ) kissed his grandson Al-Hasan bin ‘Ali (May Allah be pleased with them) in the presence of Al-Aqra’ bin Habis (an Arab). Thereupon he remarked: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.” Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) looked at him and said, “He who does not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy.” [Al Bukhari and Muslim]
Imagine, this is the Messenger Muhammad (ﷺ)! Despite his responsibilities as a leader, he didn’t neglect such things.
3- Let Him Feel Importance:
Let your kid engage in the issues of the adults. Let him accompany you to important meetings or events if permitted because this will make him well-experienced and man-of-choice.
Abdullah bin Ja’far (another companion of the Prophet) said, “Whenever the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) came back from a journey, he would be met by us (children). (One day) he was met by me and Hasan or Husain. He made one of us ride in front of him and the other behind him, until we came to Al-Madinah.” [Sahih – Ibn Majah]
4- Listen Carefully to Him:
Keep eye contact and touch your kid every now and then during your discussion. Don’t forget productive comments and nods. Most noteworthy, keep away your smart phone throughout the conversation.
This innocent creature isn’t responsible for life’s burdens. In general, Islam encourages smiling at people. Thus, It is more important to do so with your kid.
6- Express Love:
Tell him your feelings towards him. So, keep expressing your love for him.
It was narrated that Mu’adhbin Jabal said, “The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took my hand and said: ‘I love you, O Mu’adh!’ I said: ‘And I love you, O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).’ Then the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘Never forget to say in every prayer: Rabbi a’inni ‘ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ‘ibadatik (My Lord, help me to remember You, give thanks to You and worship You well.)” [Sunan an-Nasa’i]
7- Don’t Interrupt:
Don’t engage yourself in the kids’ matters but let them face their problems. So then, they can depend on themselves. Also, if there is a quarrel between them, don’t interrupt. Try to monitor the situation from outside. Only interrupt if a dangerous thing is to happen. After the end of that, you can speak to every party alone to give him the lesson. Also, tell the elder how to deal with the younger & vice versa. This will be more productive.
8- Be Kind to Orphans:
Orphans in Islam are in top priority. Islam defines an orphan as the one who loses his father before the age of puberty.
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “I will be like this in Jannah with the person who takes care of an orphan”. Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) raised his forefinger and middle finger by way of illustration. [Al Bukhari]
Don’t forget the orphans, especially those in your family. Be kind to them. Give them presents. Even more, try to bring one to your home if possible and bring him up.
9- Let Him Be Independent:
Teach him how to use his mind and not to be just an echo to the society in his beliefs and behaviors. Let him follow his innate nature. Let him struggle for reaching the truth and purpose that his Creator created him for.
10- Your Kid… Your Wealth:
The Messenger (ﷺ) of Allah said, “When a man dies all his good deeds come to an end except three: Ongoing charity (Sadaqah Jariyah), beneficial knowledge and a righteous son who prays for him.” [Sahih – An Nasa’i]
If you invest in him, you will be the winner in this life and the Hereafter. Otherwise, if you care just for his eating, drinking and interim comfort, he will be a burden in this life and Hereafter.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.” [Al Bukhari and Muslim]
Accordingly, the most important goal is to take care of your kid’s beliefs. Let him know his Creator, and how to worship him. Finally, be a good model through deeds.