Families are established on two poles by which each one complements the other through their responsibilities and tasks. Each spouse can reach a level of affection that helps them be the best supporters on their path towards Allah. This guarantees a healthy environment relying on Islamic rulings and managing both spiritual and materialistic sides. Through this, Muslim families can fulfil their duty as vicegerents and worshippers. If the objective of marriage is not achieved, divorce is a solution. Rulings in Islam are prescribed for the sake of human beings to guarantee their well-being and help them lead a happy life apart from division and worldly temptations. Even divorce entails mercy, although it is heavy. Allah Almighty says: “…Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.” (2:216). Yet, calls for divorce sometimes are well-said but ill-intentioned! Here, we will discuss the rights and duties of both men and women in the scope of divorce. We will also reflect on the wisdom behind divorce.
Here we will learn the following:
Etiquette For Divorce!
Islam prescribed etiquette and rules for all human affairs. Every detail in our life is well-defined and organized to guarantee a balanced happy earthly life that helps every Muslim reach piety and righteousness in his relationship with Allah and then people. This is because every Muslim should realize that real life is not the earthly life but the afterlife. So, our journey here determines our destiny there. Thus, even divorce has its rules and etiquette.
First: Women’s Duties
Women’s Duties
Women’s Duties regarding marital life are shown in the Quran and Sunnah. The higher Islamic objectives are five: to preserve religion, souls, mind, offspring and money. Thus, women should fulfil their duties and follow the Divine commands concerning divorce, if they ˹truly˺ believe in Allah and the Last Day. There are some rules to follow:
1- Women after divorce are not allowed to marry any other man except after waiting three menstruation cycles.
Allah Almighty says: “Divorced women must wait three monthly cycles ˹before they can re-marry˺.”
(2:228)
2- Pregnant women should inform their ex-husband of their pregnancy.
Allah Almighty says: “It is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs”. It is also unlawful to hide their accurate information about monthly menstruation cycles.
(2:228)
3- In case of an irrevocable divorce, it is forbidden for a woman to marry someone to get divorced, or to return to her first husband (Muhalil).
Second: Rights of Women after Divorce in Islam
Setting the rights of women after divorce,
Allah Almighty says: “….Women have rights similar to those of men equitably, although men have a degree ˹of responsibility˺ above them. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.”
(2:228)
1- When a husband intends to divorce his wife—after the consummation of marriage—he should divorce her outside her monthly cycle, provided that he has not had any sexual intercourse with her after her period. This makes it easy for the wife to observe her waiting period.
Allah Almighty says: “O Prophet! ˹Instruct the believers:˺ When you ˹intend to˺ divorce women, then divorce them with concern for their waiting period and count it accurately. And fear Allah, your Lord…”.
(65:1)
2- If the divorce happens during the menstruation cycle, a husband should not force his wife to leave the house till her cycle ends.
Allah Almighty says: “Do not force them out of their homes, nor should they leave—unless they commit blatant misconduct…”
(65:1)
3- The number of the pronouncements of divorce are divinely prescribed. It determines whether the divorce is revocable or irrevocable.
Allah Almighty says: “Divorce may be retracted twice, then the husband must retain ˹his wife˺ with honour or separate ˹from her˺ with grace.”
(2:229)
4- After an irrevocable divorce, the wife will have to marry and willingly divorce another man before she can be remarried to her ex-husband.
Allah Almighty says: “So if a husband divorces his wife ˹three times˺, then it is not lawful for him to remarry her until after she has married another man and then is divorced. Then it is permissible for them to reunite, as long as they feel they are able to maintain the limits of Allah. These are the limits set by Allah, which He makes clear for people of knowledge.”
(2:230)
However, a woman marrying someone with the intention of getting divorced, in order to return to her first husband, is forbidden.
Can Women Divorce in Islam?
Women can divorce in Islam. If the wife does not want to continue in the marriage for legitimate reasons, she can return the dowry (Mahr) to the husband in compensation for a divorce. This ruling is called Khul’.
Evidence from the Quran supporting this ruling:
“It is not lawful for husbands to take back anything of the dowry given to their wives unless the couple fears not being able to keep within the limits of Allah. So if you fear they will not be able to keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame if the wife compensates the husband to obtain divorce.”
(2:229)
Evidence from the Sunnah supporting this ruling:
Ibn ‘Abbas said that the wife of Thabit b. Qais came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, “Messenger of God, I do not reproach Thabit b. Qais in respect of character or religion, but I do not want to be guilty of infidelity* regarding Islam.” Allah’s Messenger asked her if she would give him back his garden, and when she replied that she would, he told him to accept the garden and make one pronouncement of divorce.
[Al-Bukhari]
Wisdom Behind Divorce
Every ruling in Islam has its wisdom. Yet, every Muslim has to willingly reach a total surrender by accepting all the Islamic Rulings mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah without even searching for its wisdom. However, it is possible to search for the reason and wisdom behind some rulings to enlighten our minds and strengthen our faith by reflecting on the Divine Wisdom.
Marriage as a Cage!
Some people may claim that marriage is just a cage for both spouses. It is a way to reject the impermissibility of divorce. In fact, banning divorce has a negative effect. Each spouse should maintain the marital bond willingly and unwillingly. Thus, Islamic legislation prescribes rules to maintain marital bonds and avoid the reasons for division and hatred. In addition, divorce proves that Islamic rulings are convenient for human nature.
What If Divorce is Banned?
There are many reasons to start a family, yet, the main reason is the SOUL; to feel peaceful. If this significant base is not found, life will be like hell for both. On the other hand, marriage is a sacred institution, so the Catholic Church does not accept divorce and considers it a sin!
“So that You May Find Comfort in Them”
Divorce means to terminate the marriage contract by uttering the pronouncement of divorce. The marriage contract is a strong bond that should not be broken except for certain reasons. Allah Almighty has set rules to guarantee the continuation of marriage between the spouses. He Almighty prescribed for each spouse rights and duties to help them live happily ever after. Yet, the aim is not to fulfil rights and duties only, but to reach a spiritual life together full of affection and mercy.
Allah Almighty says: “And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.”
(30:21)
Divorce is the Last Remedy
Although it is the final remedy, it is difficult for both parties. When reflecting on marriage life in Islam, we can deduce that the essence of marital rulings is to find tranquillity. If there is no chance of reaching a reconciliation between both spouses, divorce is the remedy that breaks the marital bond in a way that preserves both parties’ rights. This is in case there is no way to keep this bond.
Allah Almighty says: “But if they choose to separate, Allah will enrich both of them from His bounties. And Allah is Ever-Bountiful, All-Wise.”
(4:130)
Types of Rulings in Islam
Islamic Rulings have many types. Let’s first know the three categories of the Injunctive ruling in Islam: requesting an action (to do or not to do), giving a choice and pardoning. Rulings in Islam are divided into permitted, obligatory, recommended, forbidden, and disliked. These rulings are rotating around all our life affairs. They are prescribed for each person, situation and era. Regarding the socio-tradition rulings, they are variable and not fixed like the rulings of worshipping acts.
What are the Rulings of Divorce in Islam?
We cannot generalize the divorce ruling by saying it is permissible or impermissible, and valid or invalid. To issue a verdict in such cases, the scholar should take into consideration the situation of the two spouses and some prescribed conditions to determine the ruling.
Accepted Reasons for Divorce
There are accepted reasons to divorce or ask for divorce which are physical defects, having no sexual desire, having no willingness to consummate the marriage and sexual incapacity.
Conclusion
Islam, through the Quranic discourse and Prophetic traditions, builds a comprehensive system for marital life. These are the limits set by Allah. And whoever transgresses Allah’s limits has truly wronged his own soul. The objective of marriage is clear. Allah Almighty, the Creator, knows what is good for His creatures, so He Almighty sets a system to manage man-woman relationships in marriage by distributing the roles and responsibilities. To know more about these roles and responsibilities you can read my translated article via this link.
