love in Islam and the benefits of halal marriage of Islam is the main focus of this article. If I eat something that harms my stomach, is it true to say: I won’t eat again? It’s a painful experience! The same is here.
Here we will learn the following:
What Is Love In Islam?
Love in Islam is based on halal love. Have you heard about halal (permissible) love before? Islamic teachings offer us a balanced way of dealing with human problems. Allah, the One true God who has created us, knows our needs and what makes us happy. The source of love is Allah itself, one of the names of Allah (SWT) is “Alwadud”, the most affectionate. One of these essential needs is to love, be loved, get married, and be part of a family.
Allah the Almighty, says:
وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people reflect.”[Quran 30-21]
Allah the Almighty knows that human being in all life phases needs close people around them. As a result, He grants us families, with whom we experience our first moments of love, compassion, and care. Then, we grow older and need to build a relationship with a person of the other sex. Islam organizes such a relationship in marriage. Let’s have a quick overview of the benefits of marriage.
Benefits of marriage in Islam
There are several benefits of love in marriage in Islam:
- Marriage based love in Islam is a Way to spiritual love
Through marriage, one can experience the true meaning of love and gain peace of mind and tranquility. It serves the purpose of fostering love and companionship between a husband and wife, promoting their happiness, and respecting their complementary nature.
The Prophet (SWT) was quoted as saying in the hadith narrated by ‘Abd-Allah ibn Abbas:
“لمْ يُرَ للمُتَحابِّينَ مِثلُ التَّزوُّجِ”
“He did not see for lovers such as marriage.”(source)
It indicates that there is nothing better, or purer than marriage for those who love one another; if you love someone, you should marry them.
- Regulating sexual instincts.
Not only can one fulfill his sexual desires through marriage, but he can also get rewarded for keeping himself and his partner chaste. Prophet Muhammad said in a beautiful hadith:
“وفي بضع أحدكم صدقة قالوا: يارسول الله أيأتى أحدنا شهوته، ويكون له فيها أجر؟! قال: ” أرأيتم لو وضعها في حرام أكان عليه وزر؟ فكذلك إذا وضعها في الحلال كان له أجر”
“…and in man’s sexual intercourse (with his wife), there is a Sadaqah (charity).” They (the Companions) said: “O Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual need among us?” He said, “You see, if he were to satisfy it with something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to satisfy it legally, he should be rewarded.”[Muslim]
- Love is a Gaining Allah’s support.
Sometimes, we are reluctant to take the decision of marriage because we fear to bear the financial burdens of marriage. In the hadith below, our beloved Prophet gives us a beautiful promise to conquer such fear:
“ ثَلاَثَةٌ حَقٌّ عَلَى اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ عَوْنُهُمُ الْمُكَاتَبُ الَّذِي يُرِيدُ الأَدَاءَ وَالنَّاكِحُ الَّذِي يُرِيدُ الْعَفَافَ وَالْمُجَاهِدُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ ”
“There are three, all of whom have a promise of help from Allah: the slave whose master has agreed to let him buy his freedom when he wishes to pay the sum, the one who marries, desiring to live a chaste life, and the one who fights in God’s path.”[Nasai]
- Benefiting Society:
Imagine a society where warm family bonds are broken, people have abandoned marriage, and they simply live by themselves or with their pets! How miserable that society is! How dangerous the ever-declining population is from an economic perspective. Actually, this is not the way of life, Allah wants for us. Allah tells us in the Quran that the best people who ever lived on earth, God’s Messengers, had wives and children. Undoubtedly, marriage serves the purpose of strengthening societies through stable family relationships.
وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَا رُسُلًۭا مِّن قَبْلِكَ وَجَعَلْنَا لَهُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا وَذُرِّيَّةًۭۚ
We have certainly sent messengers before you ˹O Prophet˺ and blessed them with wives and offspring[Quran13:38]
Moreover, Islam encourages us to have children and promises us a huge reward for raising them. Righteous children raised in stable families are a great asset to any society. That’s why Messenger Muhammad says:
“ مَنْ كَانَ لَهُ ثَلاَثُ بَنَاتٍ فَصَبَرَ عَلَيْهِنَّ وَأَطْعَمَهُنَّ وَسَقَاهُنَّ وَكَسَاهُنَّ مِنْ جِدَتِهِ – كُنَّ لَهُ حِجَابًا مِنَ النَّارِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ”
“Whoever has three daughters and is patient with them, and feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth; they will be a shield for him from the hellfire on the day of resurrection”[Ibn Majah]
Some may say: OK! I’ll marry. But I don’t like to have children. In fact, if we look at the issue from a materialistic standpoint, we can completely agree. Why shall I get pregnant, distort my body and health, and experience pain?
As for men, why shall I see my wife experiencing pain, vomiting, or being distracted from me for another creature? To put it simply, if we want to practice parenting, we can bring a baby, toddler, or child from any charitable organisation and raise him. In contrast, if we consider this life to be merely a test, we can readily accept responsibilities.
- Getting closer to God and entering Paradise
Everything we do, if done with good intentions, has the potential to bring us closer to Allah. We are here to please our Creator, and marriage is one way to reach that goal. Through marriage, one can understand himself more. It opens our eyes to the points that need development in our personalities. Thus, it offers a precious way to reform and perfect ourselves in this life before meeting God in the Hereafter.
Abu Huraira reported: “The Messenger of Allah, said:
أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا
The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.”(source)
Through marriage, one is trained in generosity, patience, perseverance, and many other positive traits. How merciful God is to facilitate the test for us by encouraging us to do the things we need to be able to continue our journey! To discover more about the beauty of marriage in Islam, please read this article “marriage in Islam”.
Types of love in Islam:
When most people hear the word “love”, they tend to think about that romantic feeling between a man and a woman. By studying different verses and prophetic sayings, one can conclude that love has a broader scope and different types:
1) Spiritual love in Islam; love of Allah:
Love of Allah, which is the most important obligation, as it is the basis of Islam. By perfecting one’s love of Allah, one perfects one’s faith. In Islamic belief, unconditional love can only be directed to Allah. The highest spiritual attainment in Islam is related to the love of God. The evidence for this is the verse:
وَمِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ مَن يَتَّخِذُ مِن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ أَندَادًۭا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَشَدُّ حُبًّۭا لِّلَّهِ ۗ ۗ
“And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah “[Quran 2:165]
(2) Love of Allah’s Messenger:
It is also one of the most important duties of Islam. Indeed, faith is not complete until a person loves the Messenger of Allah more than he loves himself, as in the hadith:
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
لاَ يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ وَالِدِهِ وَوَلَدِهِ وَالنَّاسِ أَجْمَعِينَ
“None of you truly believes until I am more beloved to him than his child, his father and all the people.”(Bukhari)
(3) Love of the Prophets and the believers:
This is obligatory because loving Allah dictates that one should love the people who obey Him, in other words, the Prophets and righteous people. The evidence is this part of the hadith narrated by Abu Idris Al-Khaulani
فقال: أبشر، فإني سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول: “ قال الله تعالى وجبت محبتي للمتحابين فيَّ، والمتجالسين فيَّ ، والمتزاورين فيَّ
He said (Anas): “Rejoice! I heard Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, ‘Allah, the Exalted, says: My love is due to those who love one another for My sake, meet one another for My sake, visit one another for My sake and spend in charity for My sake”.[Malik]
(4) Natural love:
This kind of love can take different forms:
– The love between a man and his wife,
– The parent’s love for his children,
– Man’s love for food, drink, garments, friends, and the like.
(5) Forbidden (Haram) love:
This includes love which constitutes polytheism (shirk), which is when a person loves something instead of Allah or as much as Him. In such a case, he has taken that thing as a rival to Allah. This is the shirk of love, and many people have taken things as rivals to Allah in love and glorification.
There are also types of forbidden love that do not go to the extent of shirk, such as loving one’s family, wealth, tribe, business or house, and preferring those things, in whole or in part, over doing the duties that Allah requires of him.
Compare Love in Islam with Hollywood Love:
Have you ever experienced loving or being loved before? Have you felt damaged by love, and decided not to love again? Fortunately, you are not alone, and here is the remedy!
Unfortunately, drama distorted the noble meaning of love and compassion in two excessive ways. The first is to convey the experience of love as mere pain, and the other is to convey it as mere happiness.
To illustrate, when I was in college, I studied many plays by Shakespeare and others. As a result, I concluded that love is something meant for pain and suffering. So, why should I fall in love, have children, and then suffer? I decided to take a step away in order not to suffer.
On the other hand, when I was young, I used to adore Hollywood love stories in cartoons. They deeply misled me into believing that love is everything and that it can solve all of my problems. What I should do is wait for the prince who will come to love and marry me. To be frank, the idea itself is shallow. The problem is that we become shocked and depressed by reality when we do not realise such dreams. Hence, more often than not, we decide not to fall in love. It turns out to be accompanied by duties and responsibilities. However, Hollywood does not tell us that.
After studying Islam, I have learnt some facts that have transformed my way of thinking. Moreover, after my close friends’ marriages, I have seen the experience of love, from a completely different perspective.
I finally reached the fact that this life is not for feeling a mere joy. It is mixed. Whether I get married or not, I will sometimes be happy while other times I will not. If I want to gain all the above-mentioned benefits of love and marriage, I should bear the full responsibility. As long as we are still on earth, there is no gain without pain!
I can accept that because in Paradise I will live with my husband calmly, without any disturbance or responsibility. I’ll plant the good here so that it can bear fruit in paradise. Do you admire this well-balanced Islamic concept of love and marriage? Curious about how to be a Muslim? We can offer you more information through our support team. Let’s have a [one to one conversation] right now!