As a writer, I know that when your eyes caught this title, you were surprised and your mind was full of questions. I am sure that you are asking now, what is the relationship between sex and religion? And what does Islam have to do with sex? Well, the next lines will answer you.
Relation between Sex & Religion
Sexual intimacy between spouses is allowed and highly encouraged in Islam. Indeed, our Maker, Allah, has not set blame upon those who lawfully release their desires. Allah says:
And those who guard their private parts except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they are not to be blamed -But whoever seeks beyond that, then they are the transgressors.” (Qur’an 70- 29:31) (1)
Surprisingly, Allah promises to reward those who indulge in intimacy intending to protect one’s self as well as one’s spouse from falling into what is forbidden. The Prophet said:
and in the bud`i [sexual act] of each one of you there is a charity.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, when one of us fulfills his carnal desire will he have some reward for that?” He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do you not see that if he were to act upon it [his desire] in an unlawful manner then he would be deserving of punishment? Likewise, if he were to act upon it lawfully then he will be deserving of a reward.” (Hadith) (2)
Etiquette Regarding Marital Intimacy
Islam not only allows and encourages the intimate relationship between spouses, but also sets some rules and etiquette that guarantee the pleasure of both. Moreover, these rules reflect how Islam cares for women’s sexual needs and doesn’t treat her as a tool for man’s pleasure. Some etiquette will be discussed in the following lines.
Beautify Yourself for Your Spouse:
The two spouses should adorn and beautify themselves for one another. They should brush their teeth and perfume themselves making sure that no offensive odors come out from them, which may put off either one of them. Ibn Abbas -one of the companions- is reported to have said, ” I like to beautify myself for my wife as much as I like her to beautify herself for me.“
Foreplay is Highly Recommended Before Sex:
The two spouses should indulge in various acts of foreplay, such as light talk, jokes, love expressions, touching, kissing, caressing, fondling, and so on. The man should not rush into intercourse like a bull in a china shop. He should be kind and gentle with his spouse. Ibn Qudamah is reported to have said, “It is recommended for a man to caress and fondle his wife before intercourse, to arouse her so that she would get as much pleasure from the intercourse as he does.” Furthermore, it is of utmost importance that the two spouses understand one another’s body mechanisms; in other words, how their bodies work.
Differences in Sex between Men & Women
To illustrate, men get aroused very easily but Allah (God) has created women taking time to get aroused. A good example that experts cite is that a man is like a microwave oven; instantly on and instantly off. However, a woman is like a traditional oven. She takes time to get aroused and the heat lasts for some time. So, both spouses must give priority to one another to keep a healthy sexual relationship going on between them. The man should make sure that even if he climaxes in a sexual relationship before his spouse, he should make sure that he continues until his spouse climaxes. Otherwise, that would cause great harm and prevent her from fulfilling her desires.
Fulfill Your Spouse’s Desires:
A man should rush to fulfill his wife’s desires and a woman should rush to fulfill her husband’s desires. The Messenger of Allah advised Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al-Aas- may Allah be pleased with him- saying:
O `Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast during the day and offer prayers all night.” `Abdullah replied, “Yes, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)!” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Don’t do that; fast for few days and then give it up for few days, offer prayers and also sleep at night, as your body has a right on you, and your wife has a right on you.” (Hadith) (3)
Also, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,
If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning.” (Hadith) (4)
In short, more than a religion, Islam is a complete and comprehensive way of life leading to a balanced way of living. It covers all aspects of life without exceptions; even human sexual desire. (5)
(1) Verse (70-29: 31) of Qur’an (English Interpretation of Meaning).
(2) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).
(3) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).
(4) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).
(5) Sunan Relating To Sexual Intimacy by Sheikh Muiz Bukhary (Video).