what should I expect as a christian girl; my fiance is Muslim

What Should I Expect as a Christian girl; My Fiancé is Muslim?

Marriage in Islam organizes your Muslim husband’s lifestyle. Here, we will help you to understand how life can

  Marriage is a huge step in our lives. It is crossroads, after which life can become better or worse. Finding a suitable life partner is a big challenge and when he comes from different background, the decision can become harder.

In this article, we will highlight some aspects of a Muslim husband’s lifestyle and how life can be with him under one roof. We will be discussing Islamic teachings as in the Quran and Sunna, but keep in mind that, the degree of your Fiancé’s abidance to these teaching varies from one person to another. 

1) He Believes in the One True God 

To begin with, the most important pillar of faith in Islam is to believe in the One true God, the Creator of the heavens and earths. Chapter 112 in the Quran describes who God is in straightforward, concise words:

Say, “He is Allah, [who is] One, Allah, the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, Nor is there to Him any equivalent.” [Qur’an 112: 1-4] (1)

Good news! Your Muslim Fiancé is worshipping the same God who Abraham, Isaac, Moses, and Jesus worshipped. He believes God is perfect and describes Him by His most beautiful names as the All-Merciful, All-Knowing, the All-Seeing, the All-Hearing, the All-Wise, etc. Also, he rejects to describe Him with any kind of imperfection or human weaknesses.  Indeed, his ultimate goal in life is to please the Lord of the heavens and earth and lead a righteous life according to the teachings of God. That is a very good common ground, upon which you can both establish your life.

2) He Believes in All the Prophets

Do you know that a Muslim is not a Muslim unless he believes in all the Prophets sent by God, from Adam to Muhammad ﷺ? The Quran highlights this pillar of faith:

Say, [O believers], “We have believed in Allah and what has been revealed to us and what has been revealed to Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and the Descendants [al-Asbāṭ] and what was given to Moses and Jesus and what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and we are Muslims [in submission] to Him.” [Qur’an 2:136] (2)

Consequently, a true Muslim respects all the prophets and can never talk badly of any of them. As a Christian, you can be assured that your beliefs will be respected and your Fiancé will be talking positively about Jesus and his mother, Mary. See, for example, how beautifully the Quran honors Marry:

And [mention] when the angels said, “O Mary, indeed Allah has chosen you and purified you and chosen you above the women of the worlds. O Mary, be devoutly obedient to your Lord and prostrate and bow with those who bow [in prayer].” [Qur’an 3:42-43] (3)

3) His Family Is among His Top Priorities

In Islam, family is the cornerstone of a healthy society. There are many teachings regarding how to establish a healthy, connected family, who live a balanced life contributing effectively to the welfare of society. To illustrate, Prophet Muhammad set a role model for the Muslims regarding how to establish and maintain good family relationships. It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that the Prophet ﷺ said:

The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.” [Hadith] (4)

He ﷺ also said,

The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.” [Hadith] (5) 

Family Is Responsibility Here & in Hereafter

Moreover, a Muslim should exert all his efforts to care for his wife and children and think about their success in this life and in the hereafter. The Islamic family is based on sharing of responsibilities among family members. Ibn ‘Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:

Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.” [Hadith] (6) 

Prophet Muhammad Is Great Example

 More interestingly, a Muslim husband is encouraged to help his wife and participate in the household chores. Why not and our beloved Prophet ﷺ set a great example of that?

‘Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) was asked: “What did Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) used to do inside his house?” She answered: “He used to keep himself busy helping members of his family, and when it was the time for Salat (the prayer), he would get up for prayer.” [Hadith] (7)

  In another hadith, she said:

‘A’isha was asked: ‘What was Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) accustomed to doing in his home?’ She said: ‘He was a normal human being. He used to examine his clothes for lice, milk his sheep and serve himself.” [Hadith] (8)

Finally, Islam directs its adherents to maintain the ties of kinship by keeping in touch with their relatives from both parents’ sides and showing kindness to them. These relatives include paternal and maternal aunts and uncles and their children.

4) You Are so Special to Him

The relation between the man and his wife is so special in Islam that Allah considers it a sign of His Existence and Oneness, and a manifestation of endless Power and vast mercy.

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an 30:21] (9)

When studying the biography of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, one gets amazed by the lovely relationship between him and his wife, Aisha. When asked, “Who among the people is most beloved to you?” Prophet Mohammed would say, Aisha. He used to take her for a walk at night and chat happily with her. He would listen for her long speech patiently without interruption and interact with her.

Even during Menstruation Time?!

In one of his travels, he made a racing competition with her to please her. During the menstruation time, he treated her in such a romantic way. She describes,

I would drink when I was menstruating, then I would hand it to the Prophet (ﷺ), and he would put his mouth where mine had been and drink. And I would nibble at a bone on which some bits of meat were left when I was menstruating, then I would give it to the Prophet (ﷺ) and he would put his mouth where my mouth had been.[Hadith] (10)

Prophet Muhammad Unexpected End!

Finally, we expect that at the moment the Prophet ﷺ  died, he was praying or calling for Islam. However, Allah chose an unexpected end for him:

Aisha said, “The Prophet (ﷺ) died in my house on the day of my turn while he was leaning on my chest closer to my neck, and Allah made my saliva mix with his Saliva.” `Aisha added, “`AbdurRahman came with a Siwak and the Prophet (ﷺ) was too weak to use it so I took it, chewed it and then (gave it to him and he) cleaned his teeth with it.[Hadith] (11)

5) He Pays Attention to Purity and Self-hygiene

The Islamic Sharia encompasses all life aspects, from how to rule a country to how to go to the toilet. Purity in Islam is so central that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 

Purity is half of iman (faith)…[Hadith] (12)

 Actually, Muslims are ordered to pay great attention to their spiritual purity by avoiding all forms of polytheism and by getting rid of heart diseases like pride, hatred, envy, and hypocrisy. In addition to spiritual purity, they should care for their body cleanliness.  Once they do so, they become worthy of His love, as the Qur’an states,

…Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” [Qur’an 2:222] (13)

Thus, there is ongoing care paid to cleanliness in everyday life. For example, Muslims pray five times a day. For the prayer to be valid, one should first wash his face, hands, head, and legs in a special way, called ablution “Wudoo”. Moreover, after sexual intercourse, the Muslim must take a ritual bath called “Ghusl”.  

Is This Purity Only Materialistic?

More interestingly, spiritual and bodily purity is so much connected in Islam. Abu Huraira reported God’s messenger ﷺ as saying,

When a bondsman-a Muslim or a believer-washes his face (in course of ablution), every sin he contemplated with his eyes, will be washed away from his face along with water, or with the last drop of water; when he washes his hands, every sin they wrought will be effaced from his hands with the water, or with the last drop of water; and when he washes his feet, every sin towards which his feet have walked will be washed away with the water or with the last drop of water with the result that he comes out pure from all sins. [Hadith] (14)

Moreover, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ cared about his body and mouth fragrance.  Anas reported:

I never smelt ambergris or musk as fragrant as the fragrance of the body of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and I never touched brocade or silk and found it as soft as the body of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ).[Hadith] (15)

 One companion asked Aisha: 

I said to ‘Aishah: ‘Tell me, what was the first thing that the Messenger of Allah did when he entered upon you?’ She said: ‘The first thing he would do would be to use the tooth stick.[Hadith] (16)

Final Comment

To conclude, marriage is one of the strongest relationships, which Islam stresses, encourages, and considers one of the Prophets’ practices. Indeed, Islam attaches much importance to marriage rulings, etiquette, and the spouses’ rights. Thus, Islam guarantees marital stability and permanence. Also, it creates a successful family in which children are brought up enjoying psychological stability, observing devoutness and moral integrity, and displaying excellence in various aspects of life.

We wish you, dear reader, endless happiness and guidance in this life and in the hereafter. For more articles about the status of women in Islam, kindly refer to this series: Women in Islam


References:

(1) Verses (112: 1-4) of Qur’an (English Interpretation of Meaning).

(2) Verse (2:136) of Qur’an (English Interpretation of Meaning).

(3) Verse (3:42-43) of Qur’an (English Interpretation of Meaning).

(4) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(5) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(6) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(7) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(8) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(9) Verse (30:21) of Qur’an (English Interpretation of Meaning).

(10) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(11) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(12) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(13) Verse (2:222) of Qur’an (English Interpretation of Meaning).

(14) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(15) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

(16) Prophet’s Saying (Hadith).

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