Marriage as mentioned in the Quran is a huge step in our lives. It is crossroads, after which life can become better or worse. Finding a suitable life partner is a big challenge and when he comes from different background, the decision can become harder.
In this article, Muslim marriage rules or nikah without conversion rules. Also, we will be discussing Islamic teachings as in the Quran and Sunnah, but keep in mind that, the degree of your Fiancé’s abidance to these teaching varies from one person to another.
Here we will learn the following:
Is Interfaith Marriage Allowed in Islam?
Islam only accepts interfaith marriage if the following:
- To be from the People of the Book (i.e. Jews and Christians)
- Only a Muslim man to a Jewish or a Christian woman; though it’s not preferable in order to save the religion of both the man and the kids.
- This Jewish or Christian woman should be chaste, neither an adulteress nor a mistress.
- Muslim women can’t get married to a Jewish or a Christian man.
Why Nikah with Non-Muslim Man Is Not Permissible?
Some of the reasons for not accepting nikah with non-Muslim man are the following:
- Because Allah the Almighty, who creates humans and knows them well, legislates this rule.
- Keeping religion has the top priority in Islam. Women can be easily affected by their husbands, and the result will be eternal hellfire in exchange for limited potential pleasure. It’s a kind of mercy.
- Men are the caretakers of women in Islam and in charge of them. Thus, this position of responsibility can’t be ascribed to a non-Muslim in order not to spoil the religion of the woman and the kids.
- The Muslim already believes in all the original books and Prophets sent by Allah (among them are Moses and Jesus), while the non-Muslim doesn’t believe in Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Thus, how a woman can be in harmony with a man totally denies her core of life.
I Married a Non-Muslim Man. So What?!
If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, the marriage is invalid. Your marriage is not permissible and you have two options:
- To call him for Islam and if he truly accepts it and becomes a Muslim then you can continue your marriage
- If he refuses, then you have to leave him instantly, because continuing like this is adultery.
If you are sincere in your decision Allah the Almighty will provide you with all the best. Your eternal happiness deserves.
Can a Christian Marry a Muslim without Converting?
If the husband is a Muslim, yes the woman should not convert. However, if the husband is a Christian and the wife is a Muslim, this marriage is not valid.
What Should I Expect as a Christian girl with my Muslim Fiancé?
Let’s highlight some aspects of a Muslim husband’s lifestyle and how life can be with him under one roof.
1) A Muslim Husband Believes in the One True God
To begin with, the most important pillar of faith in Islam is to believe in the One true God, the Creator of the heavens and earth. Chapter 112 in the Quran describes who God is in straightforward, concise words:
قُلْ هُوَ ٱللَّهُ أَحَدٌ ١ ٱللَّهُ ٱلصَّمَدُ ٢ لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ ٣ وَلَمْ يَكُن لَّهُۥ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌۢ[Qur’an 112: 1-4]
Say, “He is Allah, [who is] One, Allah, the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, Nor is there to Him any equivalent.”
Good news! Your Muslim Fiancé is worshipping the same God who Abraham, Isaac, Moses, and Jesus worshipped. He believes God is perfect and describes Him by His most beautiful names as the All-Merciful, All-Knowing, the All-Seeing, the All-Hearing, the All-Wise, etc.
Also, he rejects to describe Him with any kind of imperfection or human weaknesses. Indeed, his ultimate goal in life is to please the Lord of the heavens and earth and lead a righteous life according to the teachings of God. That is a very good common ground, upon which you can both establish your life.
2) A Muslim Husband Believes in All the Prophets
Do you know that a Muslim is not a Muslim unless he believes in all the Prophets sent by God, from Adam to Muhammad ﷺ? The Quran highlights this pillar of faith:
قُولُوٓا۟ ءَامَنَّا بِٱللَّهِ وَمَآ أُنزِلَ إِلَيْنَا وَمَآ أُنزِلَ إِلَىٰٓ إِبْرَٰهِـۧمَ وَإِسْمَـٰعِيلَ وَإِسْحَـٰقَ وَيَعْقُوبَ وَٱلْأَسْبَاطِ وَمَآ أُوتِىَ مُوسَىٰ وَعِيسَىٰ وَمَآ أُوتِىَ ٱلنَّبِيُّونَ مِن رَّبِّهِمْ لَا نُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَ أَحَدٍۢ مِّنْهُمْ وَنَحْنُ لَهُۥ مُسْلِمُونَ
Say, [O believers], “We have believed in Allah and what has been revealed to us and what has been revealed to Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and the Descendants [al-Asbāṭ] and what was given to Moses and Jesus and what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and we are Muslims [in submission] to Him.” [Qur’an 2:136]
Consequently, a true Muslim respects all the prophets and can never talk badly of any of them.
3) A Muslim Husbend Respects Jesus And Marry:
As a Christian, you can be assured that your beliefs will be respected and your Fiancé will be talking positively about Jesus and his mother, Mary. See, for example, how beautifully the Quran honours Marry:
وَإِذْ قَالَتِ ٱلْمَلَـٰٓئِكَةُ يَـٰمَرْيَمُ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ ٱصْطَفَىٰكِ وَطَهَّرَكِ وَٱصْطَفَىٰكِ عَلَىٰ نِسَآءِ ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ – يَـٰمَرْيَمُ ٱقْنُتِى لِرَبِّكِ وَٱسْجُدِى وَٱرْكَعِى مَعَ ٱلرَّٰكِعِينَ[Qur’an 3:42-43]
And [mention] when the angels said, “O Mary, indeed Allah has chosen you and purified you and chosen you above the women of the worlds. O Mary, be devoutly obedient to your Lord and prostrate and bow with those who bow [in prayer].”
4) A Muslim Husbend’s Family Is among His Top Priorities
In Islam, family is the cornerstone of a healthy society. There are many teachings regarding how to establish a healthy, connected family, who live a balanced life contributing effectively to the welfare of society. To illustrate, Prophet Muhammad set a role model for the Muslims regarding how to establish and maintain good family relationships.
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ “ خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي ” .[Hadith]
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that the Prophet ﷺ said: The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”
أكمل المؤمنين إيمانا أحسنهم خُلقا، وخياركم خياركم لنسائهم”[At-tirmidhi]
The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.”
5) A Muslim Husband Takes the Responsibility of His Gamily in This life and in the Hereafter
Moreover, a Muslim should exert all his efforts to care for his wife and children and think about their success in this life and in the hereafter. The Islamic family is based on sharing of responsibilities among family members.
The Prophet (saw) said:
أَلاَ كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ فَالأَمِيرُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُمْ وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ بَعْلِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ.[Sahih Muslim]
Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and everyone is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs).
A man is a guardian over the members of his family and should be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children).”
6) A Wife Is So Special to The Muslim Husband
The relationship between the man and his wife is so special in Islam that Allah considers it a sign of His Existence and Oneness, and a manifestation of endless Power and vast mercy.
وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً[Qur’an 30:21]
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.
When studying the biography of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, one gets amazed by the lovely relationship between him and his wife, Aisha. When asked, “Who among the people is most beloved to you?” Prophet Mohammed would say, Aisha.
He used to take her for a walk at night and chat happily with her. He would listen to her long speech patiently without interruption and interact with her.
7) He Pays Attention to Purity and Self-hygiene
The Islamic Sharia encompasses all life aspects, from how to rule a country to how to go to the toilet. Purity in Islam is so central.
The Prophet (saw) said:
الطهور شطر الإيمان[Sahih Muslim]
Purity is half of iman (faith)
Actually, Muslims are ordered to pay great attention to their spiritual purity by avoiding all forms of polytheism and by getting rid of heart diseases like pride, hatred, envy, and hypocrisy. In addition to spiritual purity, they should care for their body’s cleanliness. Once they do so, they become worthy of His love.
As the Qur’an states:
إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلتَّوَّٰبِينَ وَيُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ[Quran 2:222]
Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”
Thus, there is ongoing care paid to cleanliness in everyday life. For example, Muslims pray five times a day. For the prayer to be valid, one should first wash his face, hands, head, and legs in a special way, called ablution “Wudoo”. Moreover, after sexual intercourse, the Muslim must take a ritual bath called “Ghusl”.
Final Thoughts – Marriage in Islam
To conclude, marriage is one of the strongest relationships, which Islam stresses, encourages, and considers one of the Prophets’ practices. Indeed, Islam attaches much importance to marriage rulings, etiquette, and the spouses’ rights. Thus, Islam guarantees marital stability and permanence. Also, it creates a successful family in which children are brought up enjoying psychological stability, observing devoutness and moral integrity, and displaying excellence in various aspects of life.
We wish you, dear reader, endless happiness and guidance in this life and in the hereafter. For more articles about the status of women in Islam, kindly refer to this series: Women in Islam